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The Critical Roll

wondrous item (consumable), rare

The Critical Roll
Illustration: Timmmi (using AI-tools like Midjourney & Dall-E)

The Critical Roll is a coveted item among adventurers who value comfort and convenience. Whether it's to heal their wounds, or simply freshen up after a long day of dungeon crawling, this magical roll of toilet paper can provide a much-needed boost. Seasoned adventurers know better than to leave home without this item, as it can make the difference between life and death in a pinch.

Restful Relief

This roll of toilet paper is exceptionally soft and durable, and has a moderate healing magic imbued in it. When you use this item during a short or long rest, you can expend one of its charges to regain a number of temporary hit points equal to + your Constitution modifier. The roll has 5 charges and is destroyed when all of them are used.

Pit Stop

If you use this item during a short rest, you can complete a short rest in 15 minutes instead of 1 hour.

Lore

The origin of the Critical Roll is linked to the exploits of a group of adventurers who traveled the world in search of glory and adventure. They were known for their courage and cunning, but also for their luck and skill in combat. They often faced overwhelming odds, but always managed to prevail with a well-timed critical hit.
One of their most memorable adventures was when they infiltrated a castle that belonged to a pair of tyrants who had usurped the throne of a nearby kingdom. The castle was heavily guarded and fortified, but the adventurers had a secret weapon: a roll of toilet paper that they had found in a dungeon. The roll of toilet paper was enchanted with a powerful magic that granted them a boost of energy and healing whenever they used it during their rests. The roll also had a strange property: it never ran out, no matter how much they used it. The adventurers named the item the Critical Roll, and used it to aid them in their mission.
The Critical Roll proved to be invaluable in their infiltration. They used it to heal their wounds, to disguise themselves as guards, to create distractions, and even to set traps. They also used it to mock and taunt their enemies, who were baffled and enraged by the sight of the adventurers throwing toilet paper at them. The Critical Roll gave them an edge in every encounter, and helped them reach the throne room where the tyrants awaited.
The final battle was fierce and brutal, but the adventurers emerged victorious thanks to their skill and luck. They dealt the final blow to the tyrants with a critical hit, and celebrated their victory with a cheer. They then looted the castle, and took the Critical Roll with them as a souvenir.
The Critical Roll soon became a legend among adventurers, who sought it out for its benefits and wonders. Many tried to replicate it, but none succeeded. The roll remained a unique and mysterious item, that only the original adventurers possessed. However, some of the pieces that they gave away to their friends and allies found their way to the hands of merchants and traders, who saw an opportunity to make a profit. They sold the pieces to other adventurers, who were eager to get a hold of the legendary item. The pieces were then cut into smaller pieces, and sold again and again, until the original roll was divided into countless fragments. The fragments still retained some of the magic of the original roll, but their effects were diminished and varied. Some of them were common, some were rare, and some were legendary. The fragments became known as Critical Rolls, and they were available in most general goods stores around the world.
Tags:consumablediseasedexhaustionhealingjokelong restloreno attunementpoisonedshort resttemporary hp

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